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Nick Cave Says He’s Sold “Zero Rolls” of His Erotic Wallpaper

on December 02, 2020, 9:23am

Nobody’s buying Nick Cave’s erotic wallpaper. Like, literally not a single soul.

Over the summer, the 63-year-old rocker launched a new merch store called Cave Things that offers signed polaroids, ceramic trinkets, notebooks, and other novelty items. One of the more outlandish items for sale is 10 meters (or roughly 32 feet) of 50cm wallpaper that features minimalist sketches of nude women in various positions, proudly drawn by Cave himself. The “Hyatt Girls Wallpaper”, as its titled on his site, is listed at £200 (that’s $268 USD), and apparently — and this might be a shocker — absolutely no one has bought a copy.

In a recent interview with The Financial Times (via NME), Cave revealed that although he has a personal affinity for the wallpaper, it hasn’t performed the way he wished it would.

“My favourite thing is the Hyatt Girls pornographic wallpaper, made from drawings of naked women I have doodled in hotels down the years,” the Bad Seeds leader said. “It’s a lovely thing – and so far has sold zero rolls. I am immensely proud of designing a product that literally nobody wants!”

Although no one’s been interested in his sleazy home makeover material, Cave went on to tell the Financial Times how successful his Red Hand Files newsletter has been, where he answers fan questions in lengthy posts. Some of the more viral ones have been his explanation for why he doesn’t write political songs and why he won’t go back and change old problematic lyrics, but apparently he’s received almost 40,000 submissions from curious fans.

“The Red Hand Files turned into something much bigger and more important than I ever dreamed it would be,” Cave said. “This is largely due to the extraordinary openness and vulnerability of the people asking the questions. So it means something — to sit down and respond to someone who is articulating something they may never have put into words before. It’s powerful.”

Cave also talked about how The Red Hand Files and the Cave Things venture have been wonderful uses of his down time during the pandemic, despite the wallpaper’s poor sales record.

“The music industry has been atomised, the rulebook has been torn up, few of us are working, but there can be an energy to disaster, a feverish need to respond to a crisis that is weirdly compelling,” he said. “The Red Hand Files and Cave Things both talk to this time.”

Editor’s Note: Consequence of Sound also recently launched a webstore, but we aren’t selling erotic wallpaper. Instead, you can find face masks, T-shirts, hoodies, and CBD. Proceeds benefit CoS and independent musicians impacted by the pandemic.