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Kim Gordon wasn’t attacked by a coyote at Whole Foods, but damn if this isn’t the funniest thing

on May 31, 2016, 5:30pm

A coyote attacked Kim Gordon in the parking lot of the new 365 by Whole Foods store in Silver Lake, California over the weekend. At least that’s the absurdly false rumor an Instagram purporting to represent the supermarket spread across social media, LAist points out.

“We at 365 silverlake would like to formally apologize @kimletgordon local silverlake resident and former bass player of Sonic Youth who was bit by a coyote in our parking lot this afternoon,” a post on @wholefoodssilverlake’s account read, accompanied by pictures of the supposed culprit.

“Kim, we are taking this situation very seriously and are contracting a team to take care of the recent coyote problem,” they added. “We wish you a speedy recovery and hope you return to shop with us again soon.”

That wasn’t the end of the shenanigans for the fake account, though. @wholefoodssilverlakeIt proceeded to claim that it had caught the coyote using a complex six-step strategy involving “calming herbs,” using Gordon’s “scent” as bait, and a drone. “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! @kimletgordon its safe to come out now.”

The story had picked up so much steam that both Gordon and an official Whole Foods account actually felt the need to address the situation. “Sorry about the frustration Kim! “We are working hard to get this fake account removed,” authentic Twitter account @365byWholeFoods wrote yesterday afternoon in a thread that also saw the former Sonic Youth member reply to a concerned fan.

So, yeah. While you were out boozing and BBQing over Memorial Day weekend, Gordon and Whole Foods were busy quashing a ridiculous coyote attack rumor. As for @wholefoodssilverlake, well … seems like **someone** has too much time on their hands.