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Top 10 Not So Merry Christmas Songs

on December 24, 2013, 12:03am
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notsomerryxmas Top 10 Not So Merry Christmas Songs

If you’re old enough to be reading this piece, then you probably already know certain depressing truths about Christmastime:  Santa Clause was real but died in a freak tobogganing accident back in ’57 (since then, it’s been your parents); Grandma’s famous, homemade Christmas cookies are actually store bought; Christmas is just a divide-and-conquer corporate ploy to encourage the masses to bloodily slay each other at retail outlets over flat screens, dolls that enjoy being tickled, and next-gen gaming consoles; polar bears drink Pepsi, not Coca-Cola; and, most importantly, there is no such thing as a Norman Rockwell Christmas.

Of course, you wouldn’t know any of this from tuning into your favorite radio station during the holiday season, where the worst thing that happens is Grandma gets run over by a reindeer (karma for decades of cookie prevaricating) or Mommy gets caught necking with Santa. Yes, Christmas music has been an effective tool for distracting us from the seamier side of the season. However, while Bing and Burl have been insisting for decades that Christmastime is white and holly jolly, others have made a point to write and record songs that suggest the 25th of December isn’t only about jingle bells, chestnuts roasting, and talking snowmen.

Here are our 10 favorite songs that shed some light (and truth) on the less merry side of Christmas.

–Matt Melis
Senior Editor

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